you've been night timing baby

Recently, I switched from night shift to day shift.  This means I now do 7am-7pm, instead of the other way around. As much as I loved my night shifts and my fellow night-shifters, I'm very ready to get assimilated back into the 'normal' daytime world.  While working days may impede my social night life a little (those 5:45am alarms come awfully early on Saturday morning) I am much, much more of a morning person than a night owl. Up until my first night shift, I had never pulled an all-nighter, like ever.  Much to my surprise though, I adapted pretty quickly and soon grew fond of my night shift.  What I wasn't fond of, however, was how easily I slept in until 4 or 5pm on any given day.  I think that was the biggest deciding factor for me when requesting to move. I wanted to be able to 'sleep in' and still have most of my day ahead of me.

I learned many things while working nights, and I'm interested to see how day shift measures up in the weeks to come.

things I have learned since I started working the night shift:

-There are indeed grocery stores open at 2:00 in the morning,
-However, gas stations do in fact close.
-It is impossible for me to do anything coherent after working (THIS IS ACTUALLY FALSE,  occasionally)
-I do not need caffeine to get through a shift
-Redbox/Netflix has been my saving grace on nights I don't work
-one can bake a LOT of cupcakes at 1:00am.
-once getting off work, it never ceases to surprise me that it's sunny outside.
-I am able to sleep for ungodly hours at a time, in the complete daylight.

things I have learned since switch off night shifts:
(in the whole week it's been)

- I have ingrained into my head military time.
-I am constantly surprised when I get off work and it gets dark like 30 minutes later.
-my theory of "I can function on 4 hours of sleep" still pretty much applies
-to all my night shift friends I have 'crossed over to the dark side'
-the amount of energy I have after work is outstanding, I mean I can actually get things done on days I work.
-one can bake a LOT of cookies on her days off.
-I have grown very fond of naps
-I now appreciate even more being able to wake up and have the whole day ahead of me.

blank page

Seeing that it's basically February I suppose I could do a reacap of this past year, which was a pretty monumental one for my books.  

I not only graduated college (with honors) with my BSN, but I also passed boards and became a registered nurse in Texas, and in Omaha. I also got a job- not just any job, but my dream job.  I literally love going into work and look forward to my nights spent with the little kiddos.  

I went on my first vacation with just my friends, to where else but the beach.  We took a little day trip up into Philadelphia where I did cool things like taking pictures with the liberty bell.  

Perhaps the most important thing that happened this last year was I got a puppy! My sweet little Darcy who happens to be a ball of fire and energy keeps me company on my days off. 

Not one, but two of my very best friends got married and I had the honor of being in both of the weddings and getting to spend the day with them.  I find it a little hard to believe that I can have two married friends, but I guess that just goes to show that I'm actually growing up.  

I'm excited for what this year has in store for me. Last year was filled with so many monumental milestones, I'm not sure how this year is going to stand up.  I've been thinking about my goals for this year, and how last year most of my goals dealt with school, and this year it's hard to imagine life without it.  I'm thinking that my goals for this year will look something like this:

1. Run (at least) 5 5ks, with Darcy of course.

2. Learn how to properly change a tire on my bike, amongst other things I should know how to do.

3. Travel to someplace I haven't been before.

4. Enroll in a class. 

because I knew you

I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason

 bringing something we must learn, 

and we are lead to those who help us most to grow, 

if we let them, and we help them in return

Well I don't know if I believe that's true

But I know I'm who I am today because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes the sun

like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you, I have been changed for good.

It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime

so let me say before we part, so much of me is made of what I learned from you

you'll be with me, like a handprint on my heart

And now whatever way our stories end, 

I know you have re-written mine

by being my friend

Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea

like a seed dropped by a skybird in a distant wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you I have been changed for good

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

I do believe I have been changed for the better.

And because I knew you, because I knew you

I have been changed for good

--For Good, Wicked

fits like a glove

I recently went home for spring break (as usual) and while I was home my mom and I decided we would make some scrubs! Because I am at Children's all semester, I can wear scrubs other than the navy ones Creighton makes us wear. This fact alone is very exciting, and then add to it the fact that my mom and I could make our own! It all was very exciting, mostly because of the fact that we could customize the scrubs to fit me PERFECTLY! Being so tall, and having such a long torso, it's generally pretty dang hard to find any top-let alone a scrub top that is long enough for me. Luckily for me though, I have a mom who is pretty well skilled on the sewing machine! So we went a little crazy and made like 7 tops- which may not seem like much except for the fact that I only have 5 weeks left. It's still pretty cool though, and I will definitely enjoy waking up at 5:30 in the morning a little more knowing that I get to look super cute!

as we go on..

This is going to be a big year for me. A year of many big milestones such as:

1. Graduating from college.

2. Turning twenty-two.

3. Getting my first real job.

4. Completing my first Century Ride.

5. Becoming a RN, BSN.

With each one of these comes a challenge, but I'm looking forward to it. I've hit the point in school where I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I can almost reach it. I'm so close but can't believe that it's almost over, that a new chapter in my life is about to begin.

life in reverse

just a few of my favorite pictures from this past year....

i'm just a basket case

It seems that every time I go to post all I ever want to talk about is how incredibly busy I am, like it's some brand-spanking new news. You think I would have gotten the memo long ago that nursing school is pretty dang busy- nothing really ever changes. But of course I always seem to forget this fact right before the world gets thrown at us.

So what's new in my life now? Well for starters I'm busy- of course. I just finished my ICU rotation earlier today and it's a little bittersweet. I enjoyed it far more than I thought I would, which surprised me. I'm not quite sure what I had in my mind about what ICU was going to be like going into it, but all of my expectations were completely blown away. However, even though I had a lot of fun because I had to chance to do a ton on nursing cares and such, it was still very depressing. I didn't really realize how depressing and serious it was until I moved onto my next rotation, Multiple Client.

The majority of the patients in ICU were on ventilators, had feeding tubes, couldn't talk and most of the time were to sedated to have any sort of response to other people. Now, these patients usually had multiple health problems (hence being in ICU) so there was a lot of care that needed to be done, but I found I didn't like ICU for the same reasons I didn't like NICU- the patients couldn't talk back, they didn't really respond to you. And to be honest, I didn't really realize how depressing it was until I moved onto my next rotation, on an oncology unit, where I can actually sit down and have conversations with my patients. As a whole though, I felt like I really learned a lot, I'm actually starting to feel a little more like a real nurse day by day.

On a different note it's midterms week (ohh boy!) and again, it seems like I seem to forget how busy it is until it's finally here. I took one midterm on Monday, have another one next Monday and then my last on Friday- then it's fall break! And unlike last fall break I will not be anxious and nervous, I am going to throughly enjoy my time off and not worry about ANYTHING. I have been far to stressed out about school-it's high time for a break.

where soul meets body

I'm kind of into making goals right now. Little goals and big goals, like- not sleep through my alarm in the morning, make it though this class, stand up a little straighter, work out today, eat a little better, study a little harder. All these sort of sprung from my little Lenten goal this year.

Now I'm Catholic, and I really like the Easter season, or actually I like Lent, and everything it symbolizes. I don't think I take Lent in the same way most people do though. Back in confirmation class I came to learn that Lent isn't so much about giving something up for 40 days and then picking it right back up as soon as Easter rolls around. Instead, Lent is a time where you should try and embark on something that will better yourself as a person, something that you will keep with you long after the season is over. This year for Lent I gave up slouching, but I prefer to think of it as standing up straight ALL THE TIME. Now, you may say ha- what's that got to do with anything. But alas, as a 6'2 female, it means something quite different to me as it does the average height person. My life is spent slouching down and crouching down to fit into a world that was made for someone of 5'6-5'9- not someone over six feet tall, especially a female. So I decided that for Lent I would work of standing up straight, and being proud to be so tall. I found that standing up straight had so much more meaning for me than simply improving my posture. Now that Lent is over I find myself with a new confidence that I have not really had before. Now when I walk into someplace new I am standing up tall and not slouching in an attempt to shrink away so as to not stand out. Now I walk around with purpose.

This new confidence has given my the idea of continuing on Lenten idea throughout the year, not just during the season of Easter. I want to set little goals for myself and work on that specific idea for about a 4-5 week period.

So my new goal is to finish this school year out strong, focusing on actually paying attention in class (aka not bringing my laptop). There's only 5 weeks left of school, which other than being a scary thought, means that I have 5 weeks to go out with a bang. In these 5 weeks I have one last clinical rotation, about 6 exams, and 17 days of classes left. So this shouldn't be to difficult, that's what you're thinking- I know. But I think it's going to be harder than it sounds, this last month since spring break I really haven't had any motivation to do much of anything- and I really mean it. I've been slacking off to the extreme, but not anymore.

So bring it on. I can do this.

five days and counting

I've come to the conclusion that time does exactly the opposite of what you want it to. When you want the time to go fast it seems to drag on second by second, and vise versa. Last semester seemed like it dragged on forever when all I wanted was Christmas break, but yet now time seems to be flying by. Today was the first day of March, spring break starts on Friday, I finish my 2nd clinical this week--where is the time going? I am really enjoying this semester, I don't want it to be halfway over.

I do want this latest rotation to be over though. I tried to go into this rotation with an open mind, because you can never love something if you don't give it the chance, but let me tell you I got my answer in the first few minutes of the first day. Adult Medical/Surgical, which is pre-op/post-op patients, is just not my thing. Most of the patients are 65+, and not in to good of health. It seems to remind me a lot of long term care last semester, but not quite so intense. I just don't seem to be enjoying the older adult population quite as much as the younger population. Things just seem to smell worse, look worse and are just so much more depressing. Whenever I get to do nursing I always enjoy it, but this rotation I'm not really having any fun.

So needless to say, one thing I am ready to be over is this rotation. Also, I am very ready for spring break. I'm ready to be back in Texas again and to see sunshine every day.

But as always, it's not gonna come easy. I have a midterm tomorrow, two more days of clinical and a John Mayer concert to go to before I can officially call it spring break and be back on Texas soil! Five more days is all I have to keep telling myself....

life, fall fast now.

Wow- I can't believe it's already FEBRUARY! (where did January go?) Oh wait- that's right I worked my little butt off all through January and now I'm feeling the repercussions. Luckily for me, February is just a little bit calmer than the month before it. I guess the new year really did start off with a bang!

Just to put it all in perspective let me tell you a little story about just how tired I was last weekend, after my first week of clinical- which should first be prefaced by my telling you that I'm not one who takes naps, at all. Okay, so last Friday I got home from clinical by 3:00ish, hurried up and finished all my paperwork so I could take a nap before going out to dinner. Let's just say that dinner never happened- because when I laid down for my nap at 3:30, I didn't really take into account just how tired I was, instead I realized it when I woke up at 10:45PM!!! Yeah, major fail. So me, being the smart person that I am, decided that after sleeping 6 hours I would eat a little dinner and go right back to sleep- and not wake up until 7:00 Saturday morning! Needless to say, I was just a little tired. I mean, it's not like I was missing out on any stellar Friday night plans, but still-for me to sleep through pretty much an entire afternoon is kind of a big deal.

Yeah, so I'm kind of glad January is over. I've already taken: 7 Quizzes, 3 tests and completed one week of clinical (geez)! And I Kappa had Recruitment the first week we got back, so that was another whirlwind! It seems that I've finally found my groove though, I seem to have finally settled into my schedule. February- I'm looking forward to you and all your calmness. Only 2 tests, and clinical- it'll practically seem like summer compared to the rate I've been going. Now only if the weather would warm up a little I would be golden! Instead, it decided to snow again, and just make me lose all hope for spring any time soon. Oh well, you win some, you lose some!

taking a quick break!

so I'm sitting here late on a Saturday night, and thinking I should really write about my last clinical rotation. This past rotation was Clinical Integration, which is basically all about communication.

Let me start off by saying that this rotation was very, very different from my long term care experience. This was very, very chill- we were pretty much free to do anything we wanted. All of the 'nursing' aspects were taken out of this rotation, and it was purely communication. So I didn't have to worry all morning that I had forgotten to asses something or that I hadn't given my drugs on time. All I had to do was find a resident in the assisted living community who wanted to chit-chat and do exactly that, talk with them.

Now, I'm somewhat of an introverted person, so while I was so glad long term care was over, I was a little worried about this rotation. Most people say will say they are shy until they get to know people, but I really am. I tend to open up once you get to know me, but it can take a little while. Plus, I consider myself more of a listener than a talker, which can make it a little difficult to make conversation with people I don't know.

But, what I found was that I had nothing to be worried about. This rotation was the calm after the storm. Most of the residents were more than happy to talk to you for 30 minutes or so, and many of them had so many stories to tell that I hardly had to think about what topic to talk about next. I found that it was just so easy to talk to most of them, and really it was very interesting and not nearly as awkward as I thought it was going to be.

This rotation was far more relaxing, and somewhat more therapeutic than I thought it would be. I had an EXCELLENT instructor, which I really believes makes all the difference in the world. I just can't get over how much I loved this rotation, and I can't quite decide if it's actually because of everything I learned, or the fact that it wasn't long term care. Either way, it was a great lead into my current rotation, OB.

don't stop this train

don't for a minute change the place you're in,

and don't think for a minute I couldn't ever understand.

I tried my hand, and John, honestly we'll never stop this train.

This is how I feel about life right now, as written by one of my favorite musicians, John Mayer.

I've just returned from and excellent fall break back home, and while I didn't really do a lot of anything, I realized a lot.

I've been home a lot since starting at a school where I knew not a single soul, 11 hours from home. Not once was one of those visits home because I hated school, or because I wasn't making any friends. Yes, I got homesick and yes there were days I felt lonely-but I knew going into this that I was going to have those sorts of days. I chose to embark on this journey though college all alone, far away from the life that I once knew.

You could say that I've pretty independent, I'm one of those girls that doesn't need to be surrounded by throngs of people to know that I am loved and have friends in this world. I guess that's part of what factored into my decision to go to school so far away, but my main reason was that I wanted to re-invent myself, I wanted to discover who I was, away from people whom I knew, away from the bad memories I had of high school, away from my 'friends.'

Now, I didn't really come here knowing what exactly I was going to discover about myself, or even what I was looking for. I think I saw college as the stereotypical 'fresh start' that most people see college as. And I grown so much since freshman year, however sometimes I feel like I'm getting nowhere, like I walking the wrong way on a one way street.

But, every once in a while things come together, and it makes life's journey really worth it. The first time this happened to me was the end of my senior year of high school, and the second time is right now. I'm not quite sure when this happened, but suddenly I feel like a different person, like I really know who I am starting to become.

In my many visits home I have always gone back to my high school, mostly because my mom works there, but I've gone back and visited nonetheless. And every visit I always feel like I return to the person that I was, not the person that I've worked so hard to become. I'm not quite sure why or even how this happens, nothing special occurs. But I still felt like I had been erasing all the hard work I've done over the past two years. However, with this last trip home, and subsequent trip back to high school, I felt like was truly myself, like I had really grown into my own shoes. I felt like the young adult I am, and not the 17 year old that graduated two years ago. I felt like I am really turning into someone, who knows who they are and what they want to do with their life.

I'm not sure what triggered this realization, but I feel like I'm actually making progress, and I am actually starting to feel confident in my life and who I am. For me, this is HUGE, but I can't quite pinpoint why. I've always been confident in myself and held strong to the decisions in my life, but this feels different. And I like it. So don't stop this train, I don't want to get off.

slowly, it gets easier

Or I hope it gets easier. Midterms week is this week, and just by looking at my planner it doesn't look too daunting- one test, one paper. But alas, I couldn't be that lucky. I just started studying for my test yesterday, I haven't even thought about the paper and don't even get me started about all the work for clinical this week.

I always thought people were exaggerating when they said that every junior nursing student has at least one breakdown fall semester. But now I understand, there are some points where there is not nearly enough time in a day to complete everything you need to do. The world keeps turning and you can't quite seem to catch up.

I think if I try and learn one more concept, drug or have to do one more nursing diagnosis my brain might just explode. But I don't get that luxury this week- this week is going to be overloaded. But it's all part of the process, and the learning curve. If I can just make it though Wednesday night, things will get better. I will get a break (a real weekend!), I will get to watch TV and not feel guilty about it, I will get to have some fun and push school to the back of my mind for a few days. That is what will get me though this week.