no habla espanol

Yet again, I seem to have come to another realization through my clinical experiences.

Right now, I just finished my second week in my pediatric rotation (which I LOVE) but last week was a little difficult for me. What made it difficult was fact that I couldn’t really communicate with both my patient, and her parents. Now, my patient was only an infant, so I didn’t come into this week expecting to hold a full conversation with her, however with her parents it was a different story. Her parent’s primary language was Spanish, which I have encountered before, but not quite to this extent. What I am used to is someone of Hispanic descent who primarily speaks Spanish, but who also understands English. This wasn't the case with my parents though. I felt like these parents didn’t really understand a word I was saying, which made me feel powerless.

I was able to do my job- I was able to assess my patient every 4 hours and correctly administer all her medications to her, but I felt like something was missing. In pediatrics communication with the parents is vital, and I really wasn't able to do that. An interpreter was called for when the physicians came to the room, so I was able to ask questions then, but the interpreter only came once a day for the two days I was there. So all the other dozen times I walked into my patient's room I was flying blind, thinking the whole time that I really should learn Spanish.

So there I was, someone who was supposed to be the advocate between the parents and the doctor, and I didn't even know what my parents were saying, or what their questions or concerns about there daughter were.

I suddenly had flashbacks to high school, where my counselor would try and stress to me how important taking a second language would be later in my life, which was a message that never seemed to get through to me. All I kept on thinking was that I should have taken that advice more seriously, because a second language is a skill that will only help you in positive ways. I know this week I really could have used even some basic Spanish like “I’m going to examine your daughter now” or “I’m here to give your daughter her medication.” Instead, I had to speak in a language that they didn't really understand, and just hope that they somewhat understand what I needed to do.

So I guess you could say now that I had my eyes opened. Now I have a desire to learn Spanish (and take it seriously) because when I decided to become a nurse I didn't decided to only be a nurse to certain people, I want to help everyone. If that means I have to do a little bit of extra schooling, then so be it, because if it's going to make me a really good nurse, then it's worth it in the end.

life, fall fast now.

Wow- I can't believe it's already FEBRUARY! (where did January go?) Oh wait- that's right I worked my little butt off all through January and now I'm feeling the repercussions. Luckily for me, February is just a little bit calmer than the month before it. I guess the new year really did start off with a bang!

Just to put it all in perspective let me tell you a little story about just how tired I was last weekend, after my first week of clinical- which should first be prefaced by my telling you that I'm not one who takes naps, at all. Okay, so last Friday I got home from clinical by 3:00ish, hurried up and finished all my paperwork so I could take a nap before going out to dinner. Let's just say that dinner never happened- because when I laid down for my nap at 3:30, I didn't really take into account just how tired I was, instead I realized it when I woke up at 10:45PM!!! Yeah, major fail. So me, being the smart person that I am, decided that after sleeping 6 hours I would eat a little dinner and go right back to sleep- and not wake up until 7:00 Saturday morning! Needless to say, I was just a little tired. I mean, it's not like I was missing out on any stellar Friday night plans, but still-for me to sleep through pretty much an entire afternoon is kind of a big deal.

Yeah, so I'm kind of glad January is over. I've already taken: 7 Quizzes, 3 tests and completed one week of clinical (geez)! And I Kappa had Recruitment the first week we got back, so that was another whirlwind! It seems that I've finally found my groove though, I seem to have finally settled into my schedule. February- I'm looking forward to you and all your calmness. Only 2 tests, and clinical- it'll practically seem like summer compared to the rate I've been going. Now only if the weather would warm up a little I would be golden! Instead, it decided to snow again, and just make me lose all hope for spring any time soon. Oh well, you win some, you lose some!

Don't forget to remember me..

It's the last day of 2009 (at least it was when I started this), which means many things are coming to a close. It's the end of the holiday season, the end of the decade, (almost) the end of winter break. But it's also the beginning of many new things, the new year always seems like the time that people make new plans, turning over new leaves. Many people see new year's eve as a time to start making new memories, new plans, to become that person they didn't become in 2009.

With the new year, the stress is put on new. New memories, new friends, new workout, new study habits, new resolutions, new, new, new... Now I'm all for making new year's resolutions, I've even made them every new year. Naturally, they never last longer than a few weeks, then I'm back to my old habits that I was trying to change.

This year, however I have a different kind of new year resolution, which I realized about a month ago. When I was in my Clinical Integration rotation we were at an assisted living facility, which also had a memory support unit (among other things) where I spent most of my time. The memory support unit consisted of older adults who had symptoms of dementia (or memory loss) and early signs of Alzheimer's. There were about 25 adults living in this unit, and no two had the same amount of memory loss. Now, I think I said that this rotation was all about communication, so I literally just found someone who wanted to talk and had a conversation with them. These conversations ranged anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours. As expected I spent over half the conversation answering the exact same question over and over again, but it was a conversations nevertheless. And was in these repetitive conversations that I realized perhaps my most important lesson of the semester, which I'm not even sure if I can place it into words. I'll try my best though...

Talking to these amazing people, I realized that perhaps one of the worst things that could ever happen to a person is to loose your memory. In my mind, life pretty much boils down to making memories- so what happens when no longer remember them? What happens when you slowly forget your life? So my new year's resolution this year is to REMEMBER. And to do everything I can for myself so that down the line I will still remember. If that means taking more pictures, becoming healthier, or even starting a journal- I'm down. I want to square myself away now so that when times come where I might not remember everything, I have something to look back on that will remind me, and bring back those memories and those emotions- if even for a short while. I want to do as much as I can now, so that when I can't anymore I won't look back and wish that I had been more involved, or had been better friend, or even had more fun. But another part of this is living a healthy lifestyle, because in my mind being healthy now means that I'll be healthier later on in life, which makes a world of difference in the older adult's world (as I'm learning now).

I want to remember, and not just the big things that happen, I want to remember all the little things to because as the saying goes:

"it's all the little things that make a world of difference."

baby baby baby time.

Not mine, of course! (phew) And really, it was more like the severe lack of babies in my OB rotation.

Evidentially expectant mothers in Omaha decided not to have their babies on Tuesday mornings, because I had the chance to see ZERO labors. Yeah, ZERO, zilch, nada. What luck, right?

So that was a little disappointing, but what can you do?

Now, if I must be honest my whole OB rotation wasn't a bust. My first day in OB was pretty exciting. I got to give a not even one hour old baby her newborn immunizations! So that was really cool, to be a part of the whole newborn admission process. And I got to give a newborn bath, which was probably the highlight of my whole rotation. I got to give a TRUE newborn her very first bath! Now, how many people can say they've done that? That was really, really cool.

But after that excitement of the first day, it kind of all went downhill from there. The second day in OB there was not a single mother in labor, in fact there was only ONE baby on the whole floor! But no worries, we took full advantage of the down time and spent all morning learning/working on discharge teaching for a new family, and then I was able to be involved in one mom/baby's discharge teaching. And let me tell you-beside the whole fact that the parents have a brand new baby on their hands, we then go and overload them with all of the discharge information. WHOA. It's a really good thing that everything we tell/teach them is written down, because if I was in the parent's place I wouldn't remember a single word anyone told me. I can't even begin to imagine how overwhelming the whole process of having a baby can be, but for me I thought it was like the coolest thing ever. I took in everything in that I could, soaking in all up like a sponge.

I am just amazed by the fact that the human body can produce another human being. I mean, that is just out of this world. I think that it's my fascination with that whole concept that made me so excited for my OB rotation. And I know that I'll be just as excited for my 2nd OB rotation next semester, because the whole process is just so mind-blowing. And that's why even though I did not get the chance to see a labor this was still my best and most favorite rotation thus far.

ending of an era.

Well, kind of. But today was kind of an epic day for me. (with nothing nursing related!)

For the past year I've been an officer in my sorority (Kappa Kappa Gamma) and today was the day that I passed off all my my officer-ish belongings to the my incoming officer.. Now, I'm still the current House chairman until late January when we transition officers, but really I'm pretty much done.

And this is a little depressing. It seems like it was just last month I was the new officer, with pretty much no knowledge of what I was getting myself into. And now, today, I was the experienced veteran, suddenly I am the knowledgeable one, suddenly I am the grown up, suddenly I am done-and it's my time to pass along my knowledge.

And I'm not quite sure what to think. I wanted to become an officer because I wanted to feel like I had a voice in my chapter, like I could change things. I wanted to make a difference. And I got exactly that, and so much more. I remember being shocked when I got the call that I had been nominated for my position, I was actually amazed that the nominating committee had actually thought to even consider me. I was so excited when I got elected- excitement which carried itself though my whole term.

I really did enjoy my officer position. I was House chairman, and because our chapter doesn't have a house I really didn't have to do much- but I was still an officer. I had my fair share of work to do, but all in all it was nothing to stressful. I found that however stress out I was with school, Council was my built in break time, my little stress reliever. As a whole I love going to chapter and council, because it's a time when I get to forget about school and hang out with all of my friends that I haven't seen all week. It was really my time to relax, if even for a little bit. Also, being in nursing this year, I haven't really had much of a life outside of schoolwork- so council and chapter was my time to 'socialize with the outside world' in short.

Now, next semester I will still religiously attend chapter all all the outside events, but I won't have council. And I'm really going to miss it. I met one of my best friends this year through council, and it's going to be weird to not see her every monday in council. I know our friendship won't suffer because I won't be there, but it's going to be different.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I'm going to miss it. It's always hard to give something up that you've worked so hard on- but that's also part of growing up, and moving on. I have to trust that things will still run smoothly without me, and that I taught my incoming officer enough so that she doesn't feel like I fed her to the sharks. I have to trust that next semester I'll still be just as involved in Kappa, just in a different way.

So, as always, life pushes on, we move forward, making a difference little by little.

FYI- this isn't a picture of my sorority house, it's the Kappa house at Northwestern University. But because my chapter doesn't have a house I thought it was only fitting to post another Kappa house!

Also, the top picture is from this past year's bid day (2008) and we're in the shirts that I pretty much designed!

taking a quick break!

so I'm sitting here late on a Saturday night, and thinking I should really write about my last clinical rotation. This past rotation was Clinical Integration, which is basically all about communication.

Let me start off by saying that this rotation was very, very different from my long term care experience. This was very, very chill- we were pretty much free to do anything we wanted. All of the 'nursing' aspects were taken out of this rotation, and it was purely communication. So I didn't have to worry all morning that I had forgotten to asses something or that I hadn't given my drugs on time. All I had to do was find a resident in the assisted living community who wanted to chit-chat and do exactly that, talk with them.

Now, I'm somewhat of an introverted person, so while I was so glad long term care was over, I was a little worried about this rotation. Most people say will say they are shy until they get to know people, but I really am. I tend to open up once you get to know me, but it can take a little while. Plus, I consider myself more of a listener than a talker, which can make it a little difficult to make conversation with people I don't know.

But, what I found was that I had nothing to be worried about. This rotation was the calm after the storm. Most of the residents were more than happy to talk to you for 30 minutes or so, and many of them had so many stories to tell that I hardly had to think about what topic to talk about next. I found that it was just so easy to talk to most of them, and really it was very interesting and not nearly as awkward as I thought it was going to be.

This rotation was far more relaxing, and somewhat more therapeutic than I thought it would be. I had an EXCELLENT instructor, which I really believes makes all the difference in the world. I just can't get over how much I loved this rotation, and I can't quite decide if it's actually because of everything I learned, or the fact that it wasn't long term care. Either way, it was a great lead into my current rotation, OB.

These past two weeks have been pretty chill, very much slowed down from the usual go-go-go that this semester has been so far. And honestly, I am SO grateful for the chance to just take a breather. This is the calm before the storm of finals weeks starts up. So, because I have this time to sit and think, I thought I would FINALLY re-hash on my Long Term Care experience.

And let's just call it that, an experience. I don't think I have ever had a time in my life where I was that stressed. I went from one of the easier clinical experiences (school screenings) to one of, if not the hardest clinical- long term care. I don't think I have ever been so stressed, anxious, nervous or even tired in my life. Which for me, is not a good thing. It was like I was suddenly thrown into being a real nurse, with no orientation or even a warning. Needless to say, I am SO glad that I am done with long term care. It was one of those experiences where I learned an incredible amount of information, but didn't necessarily enjoy it.

Every week we have to write a journal about our experience that week during clinical. And I though I would include a little bit of that today, because I really feel like it captured how I was feeling that week, and somewhat of what I realized after I finished long term care. Now, we have to include an Ignation value in every one of our journals, so that's why I bring up the Ignation value of Magis.

So here's a blurb: (it's a little modified from my original journal, but the main idea is still there)

"Today I realized that I deserved to be here and I should not get so worried about the little things. Yes, the little things are important, especially in nursing, but if I lose track of the big picture than nothing will ever make sense. For me, this represents finding God in my opinion, or finding the bigger picture. I have always known this, but these past few weeks I have somewhat forgotten and had been instead focusing on the smaller, somewhat insignificant facts, that didn’t even really have anything to do with the clinical itself.

Magis is the Ignation Value of “a generous helping of anything is a large or abdundant serving of it; a spirit of giving and providing service to those in need,” and I really feel that this is the bigger picture, that as a nurse my number one priority should always being proving to those in need. The whole reason I decided to go into the nursing profession was to provide for those in their greatest moments of weakness, whether it is physical, spiritual or mental. This is quite the task to undertake though, and I tend to get easily sidetracked from it and caught up in other things, like I have for the past few weeks. However, like I always say, God works in mysterious ways, even when things may not seem to make sense."

Long term care was pretty terrible, but once I realized that it wasn't the end of the world, I knew that I could make it through. I finished long term care a much different person than who I was walking into it. I have gained so much confidence, which I believe is the basis for anybody to be successful in what they are doing.

By the last day of long term care I was able to easily converse with my patient, and I could even give a shot without shaky hands (for the most part!). I believe that I would not have learned all that I did had it not been so stressful, which I am grateful for- but let's just say I'm not going to volunteer to go through it again any time soon.

My body needs to recover, I need to recover, my psyche needs to recover. So I'm just taking things as they come, and refocusing on my school work and getting back into the swing of things.