These past two weeks have been pretty chill, very much slowed down from the usual go-go-go that this semester has been so far. And honestly, I am SO grateful for the chance to just take a breather. This is the calm before the storm of finals weeks starts up. So, because I have this time to sit and think, I thought I would FINALLY re-hash on my Long Term Care experience.

And let's just call it that, an experience. I don't think I have ever had a time in my life where I was that stressed. I went from one of the easier clinical experiences (school screenings) to one of, if not the hardest clinical- long term care. I don't think I have ever been so stressed, anxious, nervous or even tired in my life. Which for me, is not a good thing. It was like I was suddenly thrown into being a real nurse, with no orientation or even a warning. Needless to say, I am SO glad that I am done with long term care. It was one of those experiences where I learned an incredible amount of information, but didn't necessarily enjoy it.

Every week we have to write a journal about our experience that week during clinical. And I though I would include a little bit of that today, because I really feel like it captured how I was feeling that week, and somewhat of what I realized after I finished long term care. Now, we have to include an Ignation value in every one of our journals, so that's why I bring up the Ignation value of Magis.

So here's a blurb: (it's a little modified from my original journal, but the main idea is still there)

"Today I realized that I deserved to be here and I should not get so worried about the little things. Yes, the little things are important, especially in nursing, but if I lose track of the big picture than nothing will ever make sense. For me, this represents finding God in my opinion, or finding the bigger picture. I have always known this, but these past few weeks I have somewhat forgotten and had been instead focusing on the smaller, somewhat insignificant facts, that didn’t even really have anything to do with the clinical itself.

Magis is the Ignation Value of “a generous helping of anything is a large or abdundant serving of it; a spirit of giving and providing service to those in need,” and I really feel that this is the bigger picture, that as a nurse my number one priority should always being proving to those in need. The whole reason I decided to go into the nursing profession was to provide for those in their greatest moments of weakness, whether it is physical, spiritual or mental. This is quite the task to undertake though, and I tend to get easily sidetracked from it and caught up in other things, like I have for the past few weeks. However, like I always say, God works in mysterious ways, even when things may not seem to make sense."

Long term care was pretty terrible, but once I realized that it wasn't the end of the world, I knew that I could make it through. I finished long term care a much different person than who I was walking into it. I have gained so much confidence, which I believe is the basis for anybody to be successful in what they are doing.

By the last day of long term care I was able to easily converse with my patient, and I could even give a shot without shaky hands (for the most part!). I believe that I would not have learned all that I did had it not been so stressful, which I am grateful for- but let's just say I'm not going to volunteer to go through it again any time soon.

My body needs to recover, I need to recover, my psyche needs to recover. So I'm just taking things as they come, and refocusing on my school work and getting back into the swing of things.