Another kind of green

     One year ago today (or close enough) I put on my big girl pants and entered the real world.  I started my first full time job, and I honestly could not have had a better year than this past one. I was so incredibly lucky to get my dream job as my first job and I LOVE going into work every day.  I love the patients (especially the snuggle time I get with my babies), I love the people I work with, I love the place I work at. All in all, I'd say it's a pretty phenomenal deal I got going on here.  

     I think back to when I was looking for a job, and things couldn't have fallen into place any easier.  I've been extremely lucky with how easy things have been, and I count my blessings every day that I'm able to do what I love (and get paid for it!).  Sure, I've had my fair share of rough days but I have had far, far more awesome days.

     Just last week I had a family thank me and tell me that I "have just been amazing, truly outstanding, we can't thank you enough for how awesome you have been to us here."  I literally almost burst into tears in the room right then because I was so touched by what they said.  I was literally speechless; it was easily the highlight of like my whole career thus far.

     It's hard to believe that it's been a whole year since I packed up my life and came back to Omaha, it's gone by way to fast.  I can only hope that this year to come will be just as awesome as last year, so here's to hoping!


  As my favorite John Mayer sings "I don't need another kind of green to know that I'm on the right side"

you've been night timing baby

Recently, I switched from night shift to day shift.  This means I now do 7am-7pm, instead of the other way around. As much as I loved my night shifts and my fellow night-shifters, I'm very ready to get assimilated back into the 'normal' daytime world.  While working days may impede my social night life a little (those 5:45am alarms come awfully early on Saturday morning) I am much, much more of a morning person than a night owl. Up until my first night shift, I had never pulled an all-nighter, like ever.  Much to my surprise though, I adapted pretty quickly and soon grew fond of my night shift.  What I wasn't fond of, however, was how easily I slept in until 4 or 5pm on any given day.  I think that was the biggest deciding factor for me when requesting to move. I wanted to be able to 'sleep in' and still have most of my day ahead of me.

I learned many things while working nights, and I'm interested to see how day shift measures up in the weeks to come.

things I have learned since I started working the night shift:

-There are indeed grocery stores open at 2:00 in the morning,
-However, gas stations do in fact close.
-It is impossible for me to do anything coherent after working (THIS IS ACTUALLY FALSE,  occasionally)
-I do not need caffeine to get through a shift
-Redbox/Netflix has been my saving grace on nights I don't work
-one can bake a LOT of cupcakes at 1:00am.
-once getting off work, it never ceases to surprise me that it's sunny outside.
-I am able to sleep for ungodly hours at a time, in the complete daylight.

things I have learned since switch off night shifts:
(in the whole week it's been)

- I have ingrained into my head military time.
-I am constantly surprised when I get off work and it gets dark like 30 minutes later.
-my theory of "I can function on 4 hours of sleep" still pretty much applies
-to all my night shift friends I have 'crossed over to the dark side'
-the amount of energy I have after work is outstanding, I mean I can actually get things done on days I work.
-one can bake a LOT of cookies on her days off.
-I have grown very fond of naps
-I now appreciate even more being able to wake up and have the whole day ahead of me.

here we are

I've made it through my first week on my own! Now I'm not up to a full assignment...they sort of ease you into that- but I also no longer have someone double checking everything I do.  This also means that I no longer have that same back up person to fall back on when a parent asks a question I don't know the answer to, which is what I am the most scared of.  What happens when I get a question and I have no idea what the answer is, how do I tell a parent that while still keeping up their confidence in me.  What do I do when a kid doesn't react to a medication or treatment the way they should, how do I react?  I know these answers will come in time, but it's a little daunting just how much I don't know.  I can only hope that I get understand parents who will not get frustrated with me as I am gaining my bearings.  I can only hope that I can get a little more comfortable day by day, until I wake up one day knowing that I know what I am doing, inside and out.

blank page

Seeing that it's basically February I suppose I could do a reacap of this past year, which was a pretty monumental one for my books.  

I not only graduated college (with honors) with my BSN, but I also passed boards and became a registered nurse in Texas, and in Omaha. I also got a job- not just any job, but my dream job.  I literally love going into work and look forward to my nights spent with the little kiddos.  

I went on my first vacation with just my friends, to where else but the beach.  We took a little day trip up into Philadelphia where I did cool things like taking pictures with the liberty bell.  

Perhaps the most important thing that happened this last year was I got a puppy! My sweet little Darcy who happens to be a ball of fire and energy keeps me company on my days off. 

Not one, but two of my very best friends got married and I had the honor of being in both of the weddings and getting to spend the day with them.  I find it a little hard to believe that I can have two married friends, but I guess that just goes to show that I'm actually growing up.  

I'm excited for what this year has in store for me. Last year was filled with so many monumental milestones, I'm not sure how this year is going to stand up.  I've been thinking about my goals for this year, and how last year most of my goals dealt with school, and this year it's hard to imagine life without it.  I'm thinking that my goals for this year will look something like this:

1. Run (at least) 5 5ks, with Darcy of course.

2. Learn how to properly change a tire on my bike, amongst other things I should know how to do.

3. Travel to someplace I haven't been before.

4. Enroll in a class. 

time well spent

I AM A NURSE! 

I passed the NCLEX, and have officially been issued a license by the state board of Texas!

Four years, millions of hours studying has paid off, because I will never have to take the NCLEX again!

SO EXCITED! 

(even though it's only starting to sink in)

because I knew you

I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason

 bringing something we must learn, 

and we are lead to those who help us most to grow, 

if we let them, and we help them in return

Well I don't know if I believe that's true

But I know I'm who I am today because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes the sun

like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you, I have been changed for good.

It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime

so let me say before we part, so much of me is made of what I learned from you

you'll be with me, like a handprint on my heart

And now whatever way our stories end, 

I know you have re-written mine

by being my friend

Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea

like a seed dropped by a skybird in a distant wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you I have been changed for good

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

I do believe I have been changed for the better.

And because I knew you, because I knew you

I have been changed for good

--For Good, Wicked

lost in this moment

Last Thursday was a day that I will never forget. It was my second to last day at Creighton, but that's not why it was so memorable.

Throughout the semester my classmates and I were divided into 9 online discussion groups, and today our discussion groups presented a wrap up of our semester. Each group had to choose a Jesuit Value, and talk a little bit about it. My group chose "Finding God in All Things" and then each of us got to talk about an experience in clinical this past semester where we found God. Most groups presentations followed along this same format, some groups chose "Cura Personalis" (care of the whole person)- but in my mind all the Jesuit Values run together- so basically it was just all of us sharing some meaningful or difficult experiences during our preceptorship where we were able to remember that God is among us all, even in the worst situations.

Many of the stories shared dealt with the death of a patient, which I was fortunate to not experience, but many of my classmates were not so fortunate. It struck me how many of them had experienced a patient death, and then to hear them talk about it was almost heartbreaking. I know there were a few moments where every person in the room had tears in their eyes. And while is was so heartbreaking, it was also inspiring- I know I could see how much each one of us had grown in the past semester. We all had gone down our own paths, and yet when we came back together we all had generally the same stories/experience. We all share basic values that will carry us through our nursing careers, no matter where we end up.

teach me about tomorrow

This past week was my very last week of clinical, and I had perhaps one of my most memorable experiences. It wasn't necessarily bad or good, but it really makes you wonder why the worst things seem to happen to the best families.

I had this adorable little girl, whom I had seen being pulled around the floor in a wagon by her parents the day before- she seemed just as happy as could be. Before going into assess this little girl my nurse stopped me and told me the background information and she herself made a comment about how life seems to hit the nicest families the hardest sometimes, and how it can really make you wonder. Once I met this family, I knew exactly what she was talking about. This little girl had just been diagnosed with a neuroblastoma, a type of cancer that tents to be bad if it's diagnosed in kinds older than 1 year old (she was about 3). Of course, that sort of information isn't something you want to go right in and tell the parents, I mean you can't really tell anybody that. However, I think the parents knew it was going to be a long, hard road ahead of them, but their strength blew me away.

I had to take a step back to grab a hold of my feelings and not let how worried I was about her, with just being diagnosed and not having a very good chance of having a good outcome influence or change my care and responses to the family. The family was so positive, I don’t believe I heard a negative word come out of mom or dad’s mouth the entire day, it truly amazed me. Mom made a comment after brushing her daughter’s hair that "she was savoring it while she can, because very soon she is going to loose all of her hair." She even said that they usually give her son a buzz cut over the summertime, so maybe this summer all 3 children (the patient had twin sister as well) would have buzz cuts for the summer and they would just call it their “summer hair.” When she said this it almost brought me to tears, and I had to step away for a moment to compose myself again. It was something so simple, and she said it so matter-of-factly that it genuinely took me by surprise. The knew what the reality was going to be and they just accepted it so gracefully, taking everything in stride.

This patient really showed me just how much you are able to stay positive throughout a bad situation, and how that really makes a difference in the patient- she was happy go lucky all day long. It really made me take a step back and see how easy it can be to find God even in the hardest of situations, and have faith that He has a plan- even if we aren’t able to see what that plan may be or where it may lead.

I'll carry you home

I recently had to write a discussion post about spirituality, and what it means to me along with how I have used/experienced it in my preceptorship thus far:

(to preface, the first paragraph is about what I think spirituality is, and if there can be a universal definition. The second paragraph is about how I have given 'spiritual' care in my preceptorship)

I do not believe that there can be a universal, concrete definition of spirituality. I think that spirituality is so unique to every individual that trying to define it would prove impossible. I do however, agree with the definition of the human spirit in the Tinley article, which states that the spirit “is the essence of a human being, the source of life, what makes an individual uniquely human." One’s spirit however though, is something completely different from one’s spirituality; they are two completely different entities. To me, spirituality is a belief in something more, it’s what wakes you up in the morning, what gives you the drive to go on, what pulls you towards the direction you are meant to go down the path of life. When talking about each individual, their spirit is the basis of their spirituality, but each person lives this out in a different way. I do believe, however, that people can work to understand each other’s definition of spirituality. By understanding what spirituality means to others, you are able to work with them and delve down the path of spiritual care, from which both parties can learn and grow from one another

Being in the pediatric setting, I feel like I see a different side of spiritual care. With the younger infants, who are unable to talk or tell me what they are afraid of or how they need comforting, spiritual care ties into the physical comfort. To me, I see spiritual care as comforting the crying infant, whom all other interventions have failed on, except physical contact and comfort. Just this past week I had a 1 year old patient, who was alone the majority of the day, but who desperately wanted company. She would cry all day long, not because she was in pain or hungry, but simply because she wanted someone to snuggle and hold her, someone to comfort her. I realized this was what she wanted when she would immediately calm down as soon as someone stepped foot through the door, she would immediately reach for you and once you were holding her she wasn’t going to let you go. I also feel that spiritual care in pediatrics is comforting the parents by constantly keeping them updated on the plan of care or any changed in their child’s health. When an adult is stressed, especially about their child, their whole psyche is thrown off balance, including their spirituality. No parent wants to see their child suffer, and sometimes just knowing that the health care team is doing all they can helps calm everything back down. I had one parent who was very religious, however she only spoke Guatemalan, and therefore it was very difficult to communicate with her. With the language barrier I could still see how worried she was, and therefore I made sure to talk to her over the blue-phone and try my best to reassure her that her son was fine, he was not dying, and he would be going home soon. I also asked her if there was a pastor I could contact for her, I had noticed how she was constantly praying, and I was actually able to get in contact with her pastor and ask him to come up to pray with my parent because I was unable to. I feel that this act of simply asking if she wanted anyone to come talk to her helped her spiritually.

fits like a glove

I recently went home for spring break (as usual) and while I was home my mom and I decided we would make some scrubs! Because I am at Children's all semester, I can wear scrubs other than the navy ones Creighton makes us wear. This fact alone is very exciting, and then add to it the fact that my mom and I could make our own! It all was very exciting, mostly because of the fact that we could customize the scrubs to fit me PERFECTLY! Being so tall, and having such a long torso, it's generally pretty dang hard to find any top-let alone a scrub top that is long enough for me. Luckily for me though, I have a mom who is pretty well skilled on the sewing machine! So we went a little crazy and made like 7 tops- which may not seem like much except for the fact that I only have 5 weeks left. It's still pretty cool though, and I will definitely enjoy waking up at 5:30 in the morning a little more knowing that I get to look super cute!

timing is everything

This last semester of my time at Creighton is a little different. I have what is called my nursing preceptorship, which is basically like an internship. I'm paired up with a nurse and basically work her schedule, three 12-hour shifts per week. We have 10 weeks to complete 320 hours, and that's really all the "school" I have. And let me tell you, it's been quite the whirlwind.

My first week was a friday-saturday-sunday, and let's say I didn't quite make it to Sunday. Friday and Saturday were awesome, I love the nurse I am paired with and the floor I'm on, but I guess my body needed a little more time to adjust. I woke up on that Sunday sick as a dog, and stayed that way all week long. After I finally felt better and was able to back to Children's every nurse kept telling me "getting sick is normal when you first come into peds, it's like sending a kid to daycare, they pick up everything." I'm hoping that got out of my system now, and that I'll be good to go the rest of the semester. I've been back at school for 5ish weeks and I've managed to be sick all but 2 of them, or at least that's what it feels like.

I did make it through my next 3 in a row, however, and I don't think I have ever been so tired. I made it through all 3 days feeling great, not really understanding why everyone talks about hating working 3 in a row. Waking up on that fourth day though, it all sunk in. I was so tired my alarm went off for probably a good 5 minutes before I even realized it. I finally realized why all those people were complaining, it suddenly all made so much sense. Luckily, I have had a few days to recover since then, but it's almost time for me to do it all over again. I'll write again about all the exciting things I've gotten the chance to do this semester thus far- and there are many, many exciting things!

I'll chase the hurt

Two weeks into school and I have yet to start my clinical, I'm at Children's Hospital all semester. I'll be working like a full-time nurse with 3 12-hours shifts. I'm super excited to start, but I have yet to learn my schedule, so we'll see how that goes.

Anyways, as one of our 10 assignments for this semester I recently had to write a paper about my personal philosophy on nursing and I thought I would share the first half with you (the second half is all about Creighton's mission statement). I apologize- it's kind of long.

Throughout every step of nursing school, I have been constantly reaffirmed that this is the profession I was born to be in, however I was not always aware of that. When I was growing up, the thought of becoming a nurse never crossed my mind, until one day when everything changed. I went from being a normal high school athlete to a couch-ridden, back brace wearing 15 year old. I suddenly was in the doctor’s office every other week, getting countless tests done to try and find the cause of my mysterious back pain. For the next 15 months I would come to know my physicians and nurses quite well specifically my orthopedist, Dr. C. After I was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, a connective tissue disorder that was attributed as the cause of my back pain, I went in for a 6-month follow-up appointment with Dr. C. At this point I was in fairly good health, having stopped the activities that were the cause of my pain, and Dr. C made a comment that forever changed my path in life. He said “you know, it’s usually the kids who spend as much time as you did in hospitals and doctor’s offices that usually end up going into the health care field,” and that really struck me. Prior to that statement, I had not even considered a career in health care, but with that statement in my mind I did a bit of research and decided that I felt a calling to the profession of nursing. Based on the little research that I had done, I decided to start looking for schools with well-known nursing programs and I chose to go to Creighton, somewhat on a whim. Thinking back, I think it was fate that lead me to Creighton, because as a senior in high school I truly could not have known how perfect of a fit Creighton would be for me, and just how good for me it would be.

Because of my experiences in high school, I have a more personal nursing philosophy, which I believe makes me a better nurse. The deciding factor for me with nursing was that nurses have the chance to make the biggest impact on their patients, because they are the first and last face that the patient sees when the enter and then later are discharged from the hospital. I have reflected on my time in and out of doctor’s offices, and I have learned in my clinical experiences how to make what could potentially be a very bad time in my patient’s life a little more positive. One part of my philosophy on nursing is that I will make every patient feel a little better about his/her life, and make the experience of being a patient more positive than negative, despite the negative reasons for his/her admittance. I have also learned from both my personal experience and my Creighton education that nurses should look below the surface, and to not just treat one symptom but to take a step back to examine and then treat the whole person. I have learned that sometimes the a breakthrough in treatment is found when one person steps back and looks at the patient as a whole, not just the presenting symptom. I have always had a strong faith in God, and my faith has taught me that all people are created equal, and deserve to get fair and equal care, no matter the circumstances. With all of these aspects in mind, my philosophy about nursing is to always provide unbiased, holistic, patient centered care for every person.

as we go on..

This is going to be a big year for me. A year of many big milestones such as:

1. Graduating from college.

2. Turning twenty-two.

3. Getting my first real job.

4. Completing my first Century Ride.

5. Becoming a RN, BSN.

With each one of these comes a challenge, but I'm looking forward to it. I've hit the point in school where I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I can almost reach it. I'm so close but can't believe that it's almost over, that a new chapter in my life is about to begin.

life in reverse

just a few of my favorite pictures from this past year....

into the light

I'm FINALLY in the home stretch. I can almost smell the Thanksgiving dinner cooking in the oven, I can almost listen to Christmas music again, the light at the end of the tunnel is slowly getting closer and brighter. This is super good, because lately I've been in a bit of a slump. Me and my Texas bones wimped out at the first sign of cold weather and I haven't been on my bike since about the 1st of October (I know, lame). I'm trying to change this- trying to coax myself that once I actually get riding that it won't see so cold (so far no luck though). Other than that it seemed like school worked seemed to implode in 3 week period- it was just one thing after another after another. And all I really want to do is go home. But enough of that, onto the good stuff.

I've been on quite a few adventures recently, one including driving 1,000 miles in 2.5 days. I know, pretty remarkable. My roommates and I decided last minute to make a little trip up to Chicago, for almost 3 days. I also celebrated Halloween, college kid style. What exactly is college kid style--good question. haha. Halloween is my least favorite of the holidays, so I just kinda go along with whatever the plans are and roll with it.

I finished my multiple client rotation, and I have to say that from this past year this was probably the rotation I enjoyed the most. I know that's not really fair because I have probably said that about every rotation, but hindsight is 20/20. I've learned that with each new rotation I realize things that I loved and the things I didn't love so much. But this rotation was very different from my others, in that I really felt like the whole family was involved with the care, it was a much more friendly atmosphere. This is somewhat ironic, consider an oncology floor can be one of the most depressing places in the hospital. However, the nurses on this floor did an excellent job of making it a not so scary place. That's what really made the difference, the nurses.

I hope that I will become that kind of nurse one day, that I can make the scary parts of life seem much more bearable.

enchanted to meet you

This past rotation I was on an oncology unit, and I thought I would share one of my journals from these past 4 weeks, because I feel like it really captures the essence of this rotation.

This week (my second week on this unit) I was truly astounded with the faith, and hope that these patients have. I had two patients this week that had very recent diagnoses of cancer, and it floored me how strong they were. I know I only got to be in a small part of their lives, I only saw snapshot of the big picture, but they really amazed me. From a nursing role, these two patients could not have been more perfect. No, they were not super complicated, in the sense that only one had an IV pump and a Foley, both were independent and other than medications, could pretty much take care of themselves. However, with the cancer diagnosis there was a whole different aspect of care that needed to be covered. Being told you have cancer can be a very scary diagnosis, however I was very inspired by how optimistic and strong my patients were being, and how open they were with sharing their stories with me.

On both a student and a personal level this was extremely helpful to me. I have been very lucky in my life, to not be affected by cancer personally or to not know anyone close to me who has been affected, so this is one area where I feel like I was extremely lacking in both knowledge and experience. I really was amazed at how strong not only the patients were, but also their wives and families. I feel like I could truly see God working in their lives during this difficult time, because I know that if it were me, I might not be so open and friendly.

I do know that not every patient will always be as open as these two were, but I felt like I did learn a lot about the process the patient goes through when diagnosed with cancer, and the grieving and questions that come from the diagnosis. And while both patients had been were not diagnosed while I was there, they were recent enough that they still had many questions and in some areas looked to me for answers. I really felt like I was able to learn and grow with them this week, I felt blessed to be a part of their journey back to health.

i'm just a basket case

It seems that every time I go to post all I ever want to talk about is how incredibly busy I am, like it's some brand-spanking new news. You think I would have gotten the memo long ago that nursing school is pretty dang busy- nothing really ever changes. But of course I always seem to forget this fact right before the world gets thrown at us.

So what's new in my life now? Well for starters I'm busy- of course. I just finished my ICU rotation earlier today and it's a little bittersweet. I enjoyed it far more than I thought I would, which surprised me. I'm not quite sure what I had in my mind about what ICU was going to be like going into it, but all of my expectations were completely blown away. However, even though I had a lot of fun because I had to chance to do a ton on nursing cares and such, it was still very depressing. I didn't really realize how depressing and serious it was until I moved onto my next rotation, Multiple Client.

The majority of the patients in ICU were on ventilators, had feeding tubes, couldn't talk and most of the time were to sedated to have any sort of response to other people. Now, these patients usually had multiple health problems (hence being in ICU) so there was a lot of care that needed to be done, but I found I didn't like ICU for the same reasons I didn't like NICU- the patients couldn't talk back, they didn't really respond to you. And to be honest, I didn't really realize how depressing it was until I moved onto my next rotation, on an oncology unit, where I can actually sit down and have conversations with my patients. As a whole though, I felt like I really learned a lot, I'm actually starting to feel a little more like a real nurse day by day.

On a different note it's midterms week (ohh boy!) and again, it seems like I seem to forget how busy it is until it's finally here. I took one midterm on Monday, have another one next Monday and then my last on Friday- then it's fall break! And unlike last fall break I will not be anxious and nervous, I am going to throughly enjoy my time off and not worry about ANYTHING. I have been far to stressed out about school-it's high time for a break.

talk about a Monday..

Yesterday, Monday I had my first Care Management test of the year. No big deal you're thinking to yourself--which is exactly what I thought to myself. Until I woke up at 8:00 in the morning to a call from my professor asking where I was because "the test started at 7:45, and you're supposed to be here." Sweet. So I quickly threw some clothes on, picked up my backpack and literally ran out the front door. I drove to campus, parked in the student lot without a permit and again literally ran into my classroom. I got there by 8:15 (impressive, right?!) and sat down to take my test in the 30 minutes that were remaining. I miraculously managed to finish my test on time, so now all I have to do is wait until next Monday to see if I did okay.

Now how did I let that happen, I mean really- who sleeps through FOUR alarms. Really now? Not only did I sleep through them, I have no recollection of even hearing them or turning them off.

Talk about stress. I mean, that's one way to start off my week. Luckily I don't have class again until Friday (lucky me!) so I have some time to recover from the trauma yesterday.

But enough about that- clinical started last Friday, and I'm in the ICU first. I am pretty excited about this, because I feel like I will get to see more intense things.

I also had my day in the Emergency Department this past Tuesday and let me say this: WAY COOL. Now, I wasn't at a trauma center so I didn't get to see any car accidents or gunshot victims- but I got to see some pretty cool stuff. I basically loved it, every single minute of it. It was kind of bipolar- in the way that it was either empty, with nothing to do or extremely busy, jumping from patient to patient trying to get everything done. You have to be a very quick thinker, because each patient that comes in is completely different. PRETTY AWESOME, if I do say so.

Oh- also in some free time last week I decided I would get a fish. So here's Stan. I know it's not the best picture, but it's okay. He lives with a peace lilly, which is why there are roots in the picture. I'll let you know how it turns out. So far, so good!

Last, but first

Wednesday, August 25, 2010 is the day that I had my last "first day of school." And let me tell you as far as first days go, this was far from the most exciting. My day wasn't filled with the excitement of walking into class and quickly scanning the room to find which friends were in this class, there was no dread or worry over if I got the "good" teacher. No, there was none of this, instead I walked into the classroom and knew right where I was going to sit- the same exact spot I sat in all last year, right next to the same exact person I did last year and while the teacher wasn't exactly the same, I had listened to her lecture at least once last year. So as far as first days of school go, this was pretty b-o-r-i-n-g, except for you know, the fact that it was my very last one.

Why? Well It's my senior year of college, which in my humble opinion is quite scary. It's hard for me to believe that 18 years ago today (or around this day) I walked into Kindergarten looking like this:

And now, here I am embarking on one of the last chapters in a major aspect of my life. Senior year- it's something everyone hopes to reach someday very soon, but yet once it arrives it seems far to early for everything to be over. I know I have dreamed of days where I don't have to stay up until the wee hours of the morning to cram for that big test, or to finish up the last few words on that major paper due in just a few hours but yet now that I see the end in sight, I'm at a loss for what to think.

All I have ever known, for the past 18 years from August-June is to wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, work out, eat dinner, sleep, wake up and do it all again (with some variation of course). What am I going to do when I come home and don't have to whip out my school books and crack down on my reading, or spend hours upon hours hostage to the library? Yes, I do know that I'll have a "real" job and be in the "real" world with "real" responsibilities, but still.

Perhaps I'll actually be able to sleep, imagine that! Or maybe I'll take up some hobby like underwater basket-weaving to fill my time that would normally be filled with school work.

Don't get me wrong, I am VERY excited about the future, and all that is in store for me, but it's a scary thought. For once my life plan isn't laid out in front of me, I'm not sure exactly what I should do, where I should go next. It's a completely blank slate, which is something I have never experienced before. My life in, oh, about 9.5 months is going to make a 180 degree turn from the pattern I have followed for so long to something COMPLETELY different. I can't even imagine. I mean, a world without homework? I'm not even quite sure it exists. ( I'll believe it when I see it)

I guess I'll just have to take it as it comes.

So bring it on.

I'm ready.

Well not really, just kinda ready.

Okay, not ready at all.

Jill came tumbling after

What a week it has been!

First, I finished my first bike race! It was quite the challenge to- 27 miles, which really wasn't that bad. The bad part was the hills! I haven't really ridden hills before--Texas is about as flat as a pancake, and boy was it tough! But I survived, and did the 27 miles in about a hour and 45 minutes--which is about what I expected! Now that I've got that under my belt, I've decided to tackle 58 miles (flat miles) in a race on June 27th! So I've slowly been working up my miles for that, but I've still got work to do.

Second- boy oh boy did I take quite the tumble today. It was truly quite the accident. I was riding with one of my friends and my tire got stuck in a crack in the cement, and down I went. Now, we were going about 20-22 miles/hour so I went down pretty hard. Luckily I broke no bones, like my mom did last week- I just scraped myself up pretty badly and COMPLETELY ripped both my front tire and the inner tube.

So my first big fall, got that one under my belt now too. Good news is my bike is okay, and I am okay, and if my tire was repairable I probably would have gotten right back on my bike and kept on riding.

What is really funny (in a morbid kind of way) is that exactly one week ago my Mom fell off of her bike and severely broke her arm. Now hers was a little bit different circumstance, but she called my dad to come pick her up (who was freaking out) then exactly one week later I fall and call my dad to come pick me up (who was freaking out even more). So now he's decided he's just not cut out for this sort of thing, we're going to give him a heart attack if he keeps on getting these sort of calls. So from now on if I fall, which will happen, I think I'm going to call my brother and save my father some anxiety.

Luck was on my side today, I know it could have been much, much worse. So I'm going to count my lucky stars and hope that if I fall again I can only be so lucky.